Hey Dad, I have returned from my adventure to the Charcot Marie Tooth conference in Conventry and would have had so much to tell you if you had been here. The one thing I know is that to you it's completely irrelevant as you don't need to think about cures and treatments for CMT but I know you were a huge supporter of what they do.
I actually enjoyed myself! I really did. I was really apprehensive about the weekend, cos if anything was going to drag up all this grief, it would be talking about the one thing that was our common thread, the bit that went wrong in the four of us, but it was OK! Actually it was more than OK, it was a breath of fresh air. There were plenty of people who had lost loved ones recently and we sat and chatted about you all like one big therapy session.
I really need to take a leaf out of your book and just be me! I mean there is nothing essentially wrong with the real me so why does she hide so much? I have come back from the conference with more work and sold a lot of choccies so that's always good.
This situation that I have found myself in is not ideal, heck it's not even comfortable, but I am determined to come out the other side a better version of me!
I am really struggling with church right now as everything reminds me of you, and I find it so hard seeing the same faces week in week out and answering the questions over "how i am". Not sure how to change that one, maybe I just do nothing and work on the real me.
One thing that does keep bugging me is that I keep, for a split second, think you are still here and within a few seconds it hits me you're not; those are the hardest moments. I wish you were still here cos life would still feel like it did xx
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